Funny Trailer Park Boys Beer Quotes
Go Your Laugh on with these funny redneck sayings:
He cruel out of the ugly tree and striking every co-operative on the way down.
I am as nervous as a long tail true cat in a room full of rocking chairs
She was so ugly she could play a joke on or treat over the telephone
Darlin.Y'all're hotter than donut grease at a fat human being convention.
Sweatin' like a whore in church…
I'one thousand every bit confused as a blind lesbian in fish market…..
That's handier than a pocket on a shirt.
Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens.
Well she's effectively than a frog hair separate viii ways!
Busier then a one legged human being in an ass kickin contest!!!
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
If a frog had wings he wouldn't crash-land his butt when he hops.
Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a assistant tree.
That boy is about as abrupt every bit a cue ball.
Can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Wal-Mart.
That made my nuts draw upwards so tight you lot couldn't reach them with knittin' needles.
Information technology'south hotter than the hinges of hell.
He'due south ridin' a gravy railroad train on biscuit wheels.
Own't no bespeak in beatin' a dead horse…'course, tin can't injure none either.
Were closer than two roaches on a bacon bit.
Does a one legged duck swim in a circle?
Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire.
Heavier than a dead preacher.
That'southward so hard to practise information technology'd exist like trying to put butter up a wildcat's ass with a hot poker!
That boy is as queer as a 3 dollar bill.
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Slick as snot on a goat'due south glass eye.
She has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
This old truck wouldn't pull a slick prick out of a lard bucket.
She'due south so ugly when she was a baby her mom fed her with a slingshot
That'southward harder than a choir boy in a porn shop
Your mother's so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds!
I'm so mad I could spit!
He's then stupid, he couldn't discover his donkey with both hands.
Don't permit the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
I'm happier than a punk in a pickle patch.
That'll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter.
I'd rather jump barefoot off a half dozen-human foot step ladder into a 5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…
I'm so hungry, I'd eat the balls off a low flying duck!
Madder than a one legged adult female at the ihop.
I'm having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park.
Male child you got about every bit much sense as god gave a goose
She'south wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's married woman at an all-you-tin can-consume pancake breakfast.
Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive.
Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
She'due south purtier than a mess of fried catfish.
Hornier than a ii peckered billy goat.
He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july.
Granny cooked enough supper to feed Pharoah's Regular army.
He couldn't striking the ground if he fell twice!
Busier than a 1 armed monkey with two peckers.
Madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged true cat.
Her ass was and so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
Busier than a true cat covering upwardly shit on a concrete flooring.
It's colder than a mother-in-constabulary's dear.
That's slicker than greased goose shit.
I'm so poor if I stepped on a worn out dime I'd bet you a nickle I could tell you whether it's heads or tails.
It's Hotter due north' hell'southward basement on the day of reckonin'.
You couldn't hit the broad side of a befouled with a handfull of rice!
That's slicker than snot on a doorknob
It's drier than a popcorn fart.
She was battin' her eyes like a toad in a hailstorm.
His pants were so tight if he'd a farted it'd accident his boots off.
Well, I'd smack the fire out of 'em if they acted that way around me.
Why, it's so cold here…we got dogs stuck to fire hydrants all over town.
That'southward worthless as craven crap on the pump handle.
Information technology's hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch.
He's as nellie equally pink ink.
I'm hangin' in at that place like loose teeth.
That smells like the shithouse door of a shrimp boat.
It's cold plenty to freeze the balls off a puddle tabular array.
That girls jeans are tight enough to see Lincoln grin on the penny in her pocket.
Allow's make similar a turd and hit the trail.
If you don't utilise your caput, you might every bit well accept 2 asses.
Duct tape is like "The Force." Information technology has a light side, a night side, and information technology holds the universe together.
I'm and so hungry, every time I consume my asshole says thank you.
That's about as useful as a trap door on a canoe.
If brains were leather, he wouldn't accept enough to saddle a June bug.
The engine's runnin' but nobody's driving.
If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't accident his olfactory organ.
That boy's two bricks shy of a total load.
I think that boy's almost two sandwiches shy of a picnic.
I think he's i fry short of a Happy Repast.
It'due south hotter than two hamsters fucking in a wool sock in the summer fourth dimension.
Well I'll exist dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs.
Yall come back now ya hear
If i had swing similar that i would ride information technology every night.
Im fittin to shut out the lights
Gonna carry grandma to the store
That would gag a maggot on a gut wagon.
That fellers so dumb, he don't know sheep shit from cotton seed!
He's about every bit handy as a dorsum pocket on a shirt.
He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!
You could showtime an argument in an empty house.
That'south lower so quail shit in a railroad vehicle rut!
As poor every bit field mice.
Her donkey looks similar a couple of squirrels fightin' over an acorn in a gunny sack.
That boy was shaking like a dog shittin' hammer handles.
That truck couldn't pull a spoon out of a cats ASS!
Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!
He couldn't acquit a tune in a bucket.
If duct tape don't prepare'r and then y'all're not using enough duct tape.
Similar trying to blast Jell-O to a tree.
If stupid could wing, you lot'd be a jet.
Slightly burned out, but still smokin'.
I'g mad enough to drown puppies.
She's so clumsy she could trip over a cordless telephone!
He'southward about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.
Well that just dills my pickle.
Y'all look nearly every bit happy as a tick on a fat dog.
Five gallons of shit in a two gallon bucket.
Hard liquor and a hammer oughta ready that
You lot Might Be a Redneck If…
Redneck sayings are fun, but no listing of funny redneck sayings would exist complete without the ever famous yous might exist a redneck if sayings. So hither they are enjoy.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
You have spent more than on your pickup truck than on your education.
Taking a dip has cipher to do with water.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
you lot have e'er spray-painted your girlfriends proper noun on an overpass.
Yous keep a tin can of RAID on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas listing.
The primary color of your car is bondo.
Directions to your business firm include "Turn off the paved road."
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
You lot take a film of Johnny Greenbacks, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
You've been married 3 times and still have the aforementioned in-laws.
Yous need an guess from your hairdresser before you lot get a haircut.
Yous remember Taco Bell is the Mexican phone book
you see no need to cease at a rest stop 'cause you have an empty milk jug.
You accept flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
The taillight covers of your car are made of cherry-red tape.
You have every episode of Hee-Haw on record.
Y'all come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.
You've always been involved in a custody fight over a hunting canis familiaris.
You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should exist.
You lot have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.
Redman Chewing Tobacco sends yous a Christmas card.
Your considered an expert on worm beds.
The hood and one door are a different colour from the rest of your car.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit down in his lap.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flight planes.
You recollect "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife boozer.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
Y'all own a habitation that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
You adopt car keys to Q-tips.
You lot think the stock market place has a argue around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
Your boat has non left the drive-mode in 15 years.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Chiggers are included on your listing of peak 5 hygiene concerns.
Yous fire your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission and so I tin can take a bathroom."
You read the Automobile Trader with a highlight pen.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby equally a effect of an conflicting abduction.
More than than one living relative is named afterwards a Southern Civil War general.
You recollect possum is "The Other White Meat".
Y'all take a rag for a gas cap.
You recollect the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, offset your engines."
You think a quarter horse is a ride in front of the Wal Mart.
You've ever striking a deer with your car…deliberately.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You think a chain saw is a musical musical instrument.
You lot've ever given rat traps equally gifts.
Y'all clean your fingernails with a stick.
You have to go exterior to go something out of the 'fridge.
Y'all have a very special baseball cap, simply for formal occasions
Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
Redneck Sayings shared with us by our Guests
If you take a favorite redneck saying, redneck quote or funny redneck slang y'all would like to share please practise and so with our add a quote class in the right cavalcade. Here are a few redneck sayings shared with the states by our guests.
you're my favorite turd, I wouldn't shit ya. ~Submitted by unknown
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. ~ Submitted by Jan (st.louis MO)
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. ~ Submitted by Dave (AK)
you might be a redneck if your idea of base of operations in music is what you fix your beer on. ~Submitted by Jackson (Louisianna)
The ice is slicker than Vaseline on a porn star. ~Submitted by Dylan Barney (Brushton, NY)
he wuz then skeerd he shit spagetti for a week. ~Submitted by unknown
Country Contradictions, Hillbilly Humor, Dizzy Sayings and lots of other stuff I accept said, will say or take heard someone else say.
If you have e'er said something and someone has said "Never heard that ane, but I will call up it now", please inform us all, a true smart donkey can never accept to many comments, rebukes, or conversation starters in their arsenal. If you were the one to say "I'll have to remember that 1 to utilise it some day" and then forgot, well here is where you can detect information technology. No guarantees, but mayhap, its just about probable, that you will most certainly probably. ~Submitted by Angela (Irvine, Ky )
You might exist a redneck if your weekly mass is the prayer earlier the national canticle at the PBR events. ~submitted by Evan Sordillo (America)
he is and so stupid he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel. ~Submitted by Alex (jonesboro)
If you lot can't duck it f**g it, if you tin can't f**g it duck it. ~Submitted past Nick
It got and then quite you could hear a mouse pee on cotton. ~Submitted by keith (leighton,al, United states)
Redneck Sayings pages created by our Guests
If you have a collection of funny redneck sayings you would like to share yous tin can create your ain page offunny redneck sayings or quotes past visiting our sayings and phrases page. Below are merely a few redneck sayings and quotes pages created by our guests.
Southern Voice: a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet beloved.
Redneck Stomp Jokes: you might be a redneck if your lady can practise it faster than you and more than…
Redneck Laughter: very funny you might exist a redneck ane liners.
Thank you lot for visiting this collection of funny redneck sayings and redneck quotes. I hope you enjoyed them. If y'all have whatever favorite redneck sayings or yous might be a redneck sayings you would like to share with us, I would beloved to run across them. Simply use the form below to share your favorite redneck sayings.
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